Find Something You Have In Common
- Are they married?
- Do they have kids? If so, how many? What ages? Are the kids involved in sports, music or other activities?
- Are these people sports fans? What sports? What teams? (Take note if they’re wearing a local team’s jacket, shirt or baseball cap.)
- What part of town do they live in?
- Have they always lived in this city? If not, what area of the country did they move from? If you moved to the area from elsewhere you can briefly talk about first impressions of the area or what they enjoy most about living there.
But remember what ChiroSushi Summit presenter Grant Cardone says:
“Real rapport building today is assuring buyers you can solve their problems, offer the best value and not waste their time.”
Most people wouldn’t associate Woody Allen, the famously self-deprecating director of Annie Hall with inspirational leadership. But maybe they should. Researchers at Seattle University recently presented undergraduates with a series of vignettes in which a company boss introduced a new project manager, Pat, to the team. All the vignettes were structured similarly until it came to the punch line.
The first story ended with the boss saying, “I am so glad that Pat took this job, despite knowing all about us!” The second ended with, “I am so glad that Pat took this job, despite knowing all about you!” The third ended, “I am so glad that Pat took this job, despite knowing all about me!”
Almost categorically, undergraduates rated the boss in the third story–the self-deprecating boss–as a more likable, trustworthy, and caring leader.
The three anecdotes correspond to three different humor styles: group-deprecating, aggressive, and self-deprecating. Project managers who used self-deprecating humor tested highest for transformational leadership, defined by motivational qualities such as likability, trust, individualized consideration, and intellectual stimulation.
Self-deprecating humor enhances perceptions of leadership ability because it tends to minimize status distinctions between leaders and followers.
“Everyone makes mistakes,” says study co-author Colette Hoption, a management professor at Seattle University. “Admitting them frankly can help you build solid relationships with your team.”
Become their mirror
- Match their posture and physical mannerisms
- Speak at the same speed and tempo as them
- Speak as loud or as softly as them
- Make your voice sound like their voice
- Restate their favorite words back to them
Get the patient talking about themselves and keep them talking, while you mirror and match their physiology, tonality and words. Listen to them, question their answers, show interest and concern and keep them talking. The more they talk, the more you listen, the more you learn, the more they will like you, trust you and buy from you.